Anime Night Court
by LightGuard
Summary: Simply some drabble and complete fics relating to the old TV Show Night Court and various Anime, Comics, Movies, and who or whatever else we can stick in here as a defendant. Also a collaboration between several authors on TFF, such as Innortal and Nanya.
1. First Drabbles

Dis-claim-er - Neither I nor any of the other authors hold any rights or privileges to the characters used in this story. Copyright is given to the creators/holders where applicable. Only thing I (might) have any hold on is the idea to create this, and it's probably a jointly held idea anyway.

* * *

"Your honor, my client, Miss...Takamachi... was simply trying to make friends with this young woman."

"Dan, she blew them up with an energy attack!"

"Like I said, she was just trying to make friends."

"Okay, Miss... Takamachi, just why did you blow up Miss Testarossa?"

"She wouldn't listen to me, I was just trying to talk to her and she never listened, so I felt I had no choice but to blast her. I tried to talk to her several times before."

"Apparently, your honor, they were having a dispute over these... Jewel things..."

"Hey Roz, do you think I'd have more friends if I played like she does?"  
"Bull, that'd probably go over as well as the last time you visited a China Shop."

"Aww...I can't go there...they got mad at me when I ran through there..."

"I didn't want to blow her up, but she wouldn't stop and talk to me."

"..."

"Hmm... Well, I think I can let you go with a warning... BUT... You two are going to see a counselor and talk about your problems. Next case."

"Here you go."

"...Why are these two on the next case as well?"

"*In comes Aruf and Yuuno, in Wolf and Ferret form, on leashes.*

"GEEZE! BULL! Get that mongrel in a cage!"

"GRRRR!"

"Aww... Dan, you hurt her feelings." Bull kneels down and pets Aruf. "It's not her fault that she's a giant, scary red wolf."

"...Bull, how many more cases are against these two?"

"Lessee... Public endangerment from magical explosions, Miss Takamachi, cruelty to animals, Miss Testarossa, flying in a no-fly zone, skimpy clothing and panty flashing, aggressive assault, blowing up trees."

"...Trees?"

"That's the report."

"...Okay, you two, I was willing to let you two go with a warning, but now I'm sorry, 100 dollar fine, each, counseling and we're calling your parents. Next... Miss Testarossa, just why are you cringing like that?"

"No, don't!"

"Huh? ...Okay, the wolf's a shape shifter, makes more sense why she wasn't on a leash."

"Don't call Fate's mother! Please!!"

"...Dan, put an order in to child services, okay?"

"Right."

"You four, outside, there will be someone to take you to a counselor, and TALK about your problems, got it?" *The four nod* "...If things go well, I'll drop the fine, okay?"

"...Man, what a case. Let's take five, everyone." *Gavel slam.*

* * *

"Public intoxication."

"Fifty bucks."

"Fifty bucks? Ah man! Where is sweet, lovable Bender going to get fifty bucks?"

* * *

"Your honor, this man was found peeping in the local spa!"

"I wasn't peeping...I was merely doing research for my next book."

"What book is that, sir?"

"Why, Icha Icha Paradise - Ninja in the Big City!"

*Show Dan reading the book not unlike Kakashi*

"...Fifty bucks and I want a copy of that when it comes out."

* * *

"Okay, what's the next case?"

"Panty thief, Harry."

"...Panty thief?"

"Yes, honor, apparently... Where's the defendant?"

"SWEETO!"

"AHHHGH!"

"Did...did you just steal Christine's panties? I think you're my hero..."

"Dan...I don't quite think that's what you're here for..."

"But your Honor...he didn't even move...he just...c'mooooon..."

"DAN! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"But Christine...he's your client..."

"Okay, I've seen enough. Sir, you are fined 300 dollars and are to return all the underwear you stole."

"Aww...alright...*grumbles* stupid ungrateful students..."

"I'll be your student!"

"DAN!"


	2. People VS Tenchi and Chiyo VS Sakaki

Dis-claim-er - Neither I nor any of the other authors hold any rights or privileges to the characters used in this story. Copyright is given to the creators/holders where applicable. Only thing I (might) have any hold on is the idea to create this, and it's probably a jointly held idea anyway.

* * *

Mac stood up from his desk, "People versus Masaki Tenchi, Hakubi Ryoko, and Masaki Ayeka...charges of destruction of public property, weapon discharge, assault, and having the most god awful laugh the world's ever known..."

"...Mac, that last one isn't a formal charge," Judge Stone said, looking perplexed.

"I OBJECT!"

The sound of Judge Stone's gavel echoes around the court room, "Ma'am, you're going to have to sit down."

"But the Black Rose objects. OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

Sighing, Judge Stone just puts his head in his hands, "Mac...you may be making a case for it..."

"I, Kodachi, the Black Rose has the best laugh, how dare some... *Sniff* Commoner try to say otherwise. OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

"Alright, Bull, get her out of here..." Harry motioned for the ever present bailiff.

"C'mon miss," Bull walked toward the ranting gymnast and gently took her by the arm.

"OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

Christine looked a little stunned, "That laugh is getting annoying... Okay, did she just flip her clothes off and come out in a leotard?"

"...She fills it out well."

"DAN!"

"Okay, we can call that laugh objectionable..." Judge Stone said as he banged his gavel.

"Thank you, Harry," Christine said gratefully.

Bull continued to converse with his new friend, "Say, you're a Rhythm Gymnast Martial Artist, right?"

Kodachi looked startled, "Why is that any of your concern, you monobrowed beast?"

"Well, I was hoping you could help me with my ribbon twirling..." Bull asked as he pulled out a yellow ribbon that had black marks up and down the body of it.

"Bull, I didn't know you were a martial artist..." wondered Harry.

"Oh yeah. Dad wasn't around a lot, but Mom made sure I knew how to defend myself. He always brought home the coolest souveniers, though..." Bull looked almost wistful as he twirled the ribbon, "This is his!"

"That... Looks like an associate of my Ranma-sama's..." Kodachi claimed, looking a little freaked out.

Bull started, his eyes widening as he started getting excited, "Really? Did he have a backpack?"

"Hmm... I do recall him carrying that... And an umbrella." Kodachi said, a thoughtful look on her face.

"Aww...it IS little brother Ryoga! I haven't seen him since he was this tall..." Bull exclaimed, putting his hands near his hips.

Tenchi looked nervous, "Uhm, excuse me, but aren't we going to be charged for wrecking that park?"

"Lord Tenchi, perhaps you should let the lawyers handle this," Ayeka said pensively.

Ryoko snorted, "Yeah, I mean Miss Prissy certainly could get Daddy to get her off..."

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK, DEMON!" snarled Ayeka.

Banging on his gavel on the bench, Harry tried to get their attention, "Ladies! LADIES!"

"...are they sparking? Your Honor, they're sparking..." said Christine, looking mystified.

*SPLASH!*

"ACK!"

"...Mac, what was THAT for?"

Mac held up a bucket, looking smug, "Well, it stopped them from sparking."

In the mean time, Dan spoke up, "Harry, I suggest we get these three a sex therapist."

Rolling his eyes, Harry looked at the Prosecutor, "And let me guess, you know who to volunteer?"

"Of course!" Dan said, grinning widely

Sighing exasperatedly, Harry cut to the chase, "...alright, I don't even want to know. Defendants are sentenced to thirty days of counseling. Next case!"

Mac walked back to his desk, pulling out the next case file, "Your Honor, Chiyo Mihama v/s ...Miss Sakaki, theft of personal property..."

Just over the edge of the desk, a small hand shot up, "She's got Mr. Tadakichi and won't give him back!" Chiyo turned to Sakaki and begged, "Please give him back, please?"

"Miss, can't you get any pet of your own?" asked Harry

Blushing profusely, Sakaki quietly explained, "...All the cats bite me and the dogs run from me."

"And Mr. Tadakichi is?" Harry asked, looking to his bailiffs.

Roz walked in, leading a massive Great Pyrenees, "He's a really big dog..."

Dan cleared his throat, "Your Honor, my client would simply like to have her pet back. She really does not want to press charges at this time."

"Harry...there really isn't much to say. She found Mr. Tadakichi waiting outside her parent's house and proceeded to keep him fed and watered," explained Christine, her eyes on the massive dog in front of them.

"Seems more like a case of lost and found here; okay, Miss Sakaki, just return the girl's dog to her and that'll be all..." Harry said, issuing his judgment. He looked down over the bench, then around the courtroom before looking at Sakaki, "Say, where is Miss Chiyo?"

"Um... She's under Mr. Tadakichi," Sakaki said, almost reverently.

Shaking his head, Harry grinned, "Alright...Miss Chiyo, if you can hear me, you can keep your pet. Mac, do we have another case?"

Mac thumbed through his files, "Um... Yes."

"Oh?"

"Yeah," Mac said, "People vs The Gutsy Galaxy Guard."

"Oh? And where are these people?" Harry asked skeptically.

"Um... In another universe, apparently," Bull said as he looked over Mac's shoulder.

"...Bull, that's not possible."

"Well, that's what I'm reading here…"

"...Okay, fine. Why were they charged anyway?" Harry asked, looking at Dan.

"Massive super robot fight that destroyed the sewers," Dan grimaced, before looking back at his documents, "My shower turned brown while I was showering when this happened."

Harry laughed, "...Dan, everyone's shower did. Okay, when or if they get back, get them in here."

Mac nodded, "Right."

"Other than that... Let's call it a night. Court's adjourned!"


	3. People VS Ranma Saotome and Deadpool

Dis-claim-er - Neither I nor any of the other authors hold any rights or privileges to the characters used in this story. Copyright is given to the creators/holders where applicable. Only thing I (might) have any hold on is the idea to create this, and it's probably a jointly held idea anyway.

* * *

"Night Court is now in session. The honorable Judge Harold T. Stone is presiding."

"Okay, sit down. So, how's our cases look tonight, Mac?" Harry asked as he straightened out the bench.

"Pretty full, first one here is a People vs. Ranma Saotome for indecent exposure," Mac said as he handed Harry the casefile.

"Oh boy, can't wait to see this... one... Why doesn't she have a shirt on?!" Harry yelled as the topless redhead was drug into the courtroom.

"I was TRYING to get my shirt on, but they wouldn't let me!" She yelled, before punching Dan in the gut for groping her breast. "...Anyone care if I take his jacket?"

"Nope."

"Nuh uh."

"Go right ahead."

"Wow... For such a short girl, she has big ones."

"Thank you Bull, we all got that when we saw her without a shirt on," Harry agreed, "Now, Miss Saotome, I'd charge you for aggravated assault, but Dan really had that one coming."

"*WHEEZE!* Ob...objection, your honor!"

"Dan, you blatantly were squeezing the Defendant's breasts." Harry said with half-narrowed eyes. "Prosecutor, what do you wanna do with her?"

"Well, Your Honor, I think I really need to get out more, as this isn't the first time that Miss Saotome's gone topless in public. OOOMPH!"

Dan gasped as another fist in his gut put him on his knees. "N...No fair..." He whined.

Ranma growled, "Then ya need ta getcher mind outta the gutter, pervert!"

"At least I'm not the pervert running around flashing my breasts at everyone."

"Gee, Dan, I didn't think you had the chest for that." Bull added happily.

"Thank you, Bull," Dan muttered, annoyed.

Harry banged his gavel down. "People, we're getting off topic. Miss Saotome, do you have anything to say in your defense?"

"Stupid tomboys don't know their own strength and always hitting me into a river."

"...Are there domestic problems this court needs to be made aware of?"

Ranma rolled her eyes, "No more than usual."

"If this is usual, I'd hate to see what she considers abnormal," Roz snarked.

Ignoring Roz for the moment, Harry sighed. "Mac, make sure that the counselor has several spots open."

"Uh, sorry, Harry, but it seems that they're kinda full..."

"Full? For what?"

"For the Testarossa and Takamachi girls... Those two STILL haven't left from the first meeting."

"...Okay, get someone else then. Dan, make sure to take care of looking into Miss Saotome's personal life."

"*WHEEZE* No... Problem..."

"Dan, what's wrong?"

"She... Isn't wearing... Panties..."

"...Dan, you REALLY had that coming."

"Next case..."

"It's... People vs. the Merc with the mouth."

"Huh?"

"That's what it says, Harry."

"I guess... Okay, what are the charges?" Harry looked at the paper. "...Double and triple parking, running red lights, slashing tires with a katana, using said katana to cut up hedges, breaking the fourth wall, being a public annoyance, feeding meatloaf to vegetarians, annoying time travelers, illegal use of Street Fighter moves on people who don't play the games, seeing what color the boxes we think are... Are you SURE that these are legitimate charges?"

Deadpool seemed proud of this. "Yup! And I didn't even have to jump the shark to get in here, how's that for your 30 Rock experiences?"

"Uhm, right. Your Honor, my client is obviously in need of serious mental help," Christine almost begged.

"...Mr... Wait, did this thing just change?"

"Probably."

"...Well, Mr. Deadpool... Can you take off your mask?"

"Uh... You sure you want me to?"

"Well, I'd like to see who it is."

Deadpool shrugged and took off the mask.

There was almost a palpable loss of air pressure as everyone seemed to take a breath at once.

"PUT IT BACK ON!" Everyone screamed.

"What? I always thought I looked like Thom Cruz..." Deadpool whined a bit.

"Your face is melting!" Dan shuddered in horror

"Oh, that's just the cancer." Deadpool grinned as he put his mask back on. "Better?"

"Much."

"Good, cuz you know, Mac, you look like a basketball star from the 80s."

"...You don't say?" Mac asked.

"Yeah... Or it's just the name is throwing me off."

"Be that as it may, your Honor," Dan interrupted, "We still need to get this man in custody!" Pointing to his briefcase, "Do you realize what he did to my legal briefs?!??!"

"Do I really want to know, Mr. Fielding?" Harry looked kind of green as he stared at the oozing brown case.

"There's pigeon... Stuff... All over them!" Dan shouted

Deadpool shrugged, "Hey, when the birds need to go, they go."

"Be that as it may, Mr...Deadpool, I think we'll just go ahead with a charge of vandalism and public nuisance, a $300 fine, and a couple hours of community service, whaddya say?" asked Harry

"Hmm... Well, sure, why not? It's not like I've got much anything else to do... Hmm... Can I call picking a fight with the local magical girls community service?" Deadpool asked eagerly.

"As long as you are on the side of justice and protecting the people, I don't see why not. If you can get me Spider-man's autograph, that'd be a check in the right direction..."

Deadpool had to think on that one, "No guarantee, for some reason, he thinks that I'm insane. Me? Insane? No way, I'm super sane!"

"HEY! That's my line! You take that back!" a voice called from the gallery.

Harry looked out into the courtroom, "And you are?"

"My card!" The man with the white face said as he grinned, throwing a card so hard that it STUCK into the judge's bench.

"Wow! I haven't seen cards being thrown like that in a long time. How did you do that?" Bull asked.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Holding up the card, Harry looked perplexed, "Look, Mr... I really don't understand this... Why did you throw a joker at me?"

"Because I'm quite the card! Get it? Card? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!" the clown-faced man cackled.

His harlequin-suited arm candy giggled, "Oh Mr. J, you're such a cut-up!"

Deadpool muttered, "If I'd known this was gonna be a multiple continuity crossover story, I'd've gotten Nicieza or even Ed 'I killed and resurrected Cap' Brubaker, but no...I've gotta get guys who write like Liefield or…*Shudder* Whedon..."

"Enough! Bull, get those two out of here! Mr. Deadpool, quit breaking the fourth wall. Let's take five everyone!"


	4. People VS Vegeta

Dis-claim-er - Neither I nor any of the other authors hold any rights or privileges to the characters used in this story. Copyright is given to the creators/holders where applicable. Only thing I (might) have any hold on is the idea to create this, and it's probably a jointly held idea anyway.

_**Sometimes…even the parodies get their due…and are full of win, depending on the author's view points...**_

* * *

"People vs. Vegeta, destruction of public property and disorderly conduct."

"Let's see... wow, that's a lot of property damage." Harry blinked. "Is this figure right?"

"Yes, your Honor, though to be fair," Dan explained, "if he hadn't destroyed half of downtown Manhattan trying to stop his fall, the damages would've been reduced considerably."

"Hey...Vegeta..."

"What, Nappa..."

"It's a girl!"

"Yes, Nappa, I'm well aware my defender is a girl..."

"I wonder what kind of bra she wears."

"Wow, he moves fast for a dead guy," Bull said to Roz as they watched the proceedings.

"Doesn't look like he moved fast enough, seein' as he's dead and all," Roz replied.

"I want to see your bra! Take it off!"

"Your Honor," Christine explained through gritted teeth, "My client was simply defending himself from attack by one...Squirrel Girl?"

Christine turned and looked rather bothered as she stared at Vegeta, "You lost to Squirrel Girl?"

"She surprised me…and she had a bunch of squirrels pinning me down and biting…oh the biting…" Vegeta shivered and rocked in his chair a bit.

"I think she had rabies or something, Vegeta."

"Quiet, Nappa."

"But she made you her..."

"NAPPA!"

"Biiiitch."

"Oh Goddamn it, Nappa!"

Christine cleared her throat, "Ahem, anyway, he was trying to recover from the aftermath of the attack."

"Aww! Come on! I wanna see your bra!"

"MR NAPPA! Please be quiet."

"Aww! You guys are no fun!"

Vegeta rolled his eyes. "You guys need to make your cities more capable to stand up to attacks that can level mountains."

Nappa's eyes brightened. "Yeah! They're all made out of something weak... Like Paper Mache... Or Radditz..."

"Uh huh..." Harry agreed dubiously, "Counselors, could you please approach the bench?"

"Harry, if you don't do something about that big idiot, I might just pull a .44 out and shoot him between the legs."

"Christine, I'm pretty sure he doesn't have legs," Harry pointed out to her, "As far as I can tell, he's got a puff of smoke instead."

"I'll shoot him there anyway." She twitched. Even if he was a ghost, he had to feel *THAT*.

Dan coughed. "As much fun as it would be to see if you could, in fact, shoot a ghost, Harry needed to see us for something."

"Yes, I did," Harry agreed, "Why is Mr. Nappa with your client, Ms. Sullivan?"

"He said, and I quote... 'Vegeta, I'm haunting you.'."

"Is this going to be a problem for either of you, Dan? Christine?" Harry asked.

"Not really."

"I just wish he'd stop the sniping comments."

"Ooooh! Vegeta... There's a rat."

"Huh?"

"Right there... It's trying to eat the bald guy's shoe."

Everyone blinked and looked down at Bull's shoe. Sure enough, there was a rat... a HUGE rat, trying to eat his shoe.

"Now, Sal, we've talked about this," Bull reprimanded the dog-sized rat, "You don't eat my shoes, I don't try that recipe in that Survival Guide you came with."

"Squeak, sorry Bull, but I was hungry..."

"The rat can speak?" Vegeta blinked. Did he walk in the twilight zone?

"Bull, WHAT is going on here?"

"Oh! Sorry, sir. This is Sal. I found him one morning wandering the halls of my apartment complex," Bull explained cheerfully, "He had this book with him, too."

Bull reached into his pocket and pulled out a dog-eared, pockmarked and burnt copy of the Wasteland Survival Guide.

"I like him," Nappa cheered.

"You would." Vegeta grumbled rubbing his head. "Can we just get this over with? I'd rather be done with this before Kakarot decides to show up to annoy me."

"Question!"

Vegeta's eyes widened as he turned around. "Nooooo..."

"Can I have the rest of the pizza?" Goku asked as he held up what had to be the largest pizza that ANYONE, other than Vegeta, had seen in their lives.

"I'd call for order in the court, but I have a feeling we'd get a few requests," Harry sighed, "Alright, Mr. Vegeta, I think 30 days and as many hours of community service to repair the damage is sufficient."

"Fine, I'll leave right away." Vegeta glowed bright, blinding everyone as he flew up... and through the courtroom roof.

"Hey! Vegeta! Wait for me!" Both Goku and Nappa yelled as they flew up after him. And both left a hole in the ceiling.

"...How does a ghost leave a hole in the ceiling?" Harry asked no one in particular.

"No clue, but that pizza'll go stale if it isn't eaten." Mac pointed out.

"Let's take five everyone. Call the Nerima construction crews and someone take care of that pizza."

* * *

Oh, and because I totally forgot to add this to the People vs. Vegeta...

"NEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD!"

Everyone in the courtroom turned to look at the massive green man wearing the white robe and turban.

"And proud of it, sir!" exclaimed Bull happily.

"Oh, Lord," Roz sighed, "Here we go."


	5. A Sweet Little Story

Dis-claim-er - Neither I nor any of the other authors hold any rights or privileges to the characters used in this story. Copyright is given to the creators/holders where applicable. Only thing I (might) have any hold on is the idea to create this, and it's probably a jointly held idea anyway.

_**Courtesy of co-writer Nanya, a little fluff between cases…**_

* * *

"Well, these last few cases have been a pain in the butt." Harry sighed as he walked into his office. "I swear... What the? Miss Testarosa, what are you doing in here?"

"...Hiding."

"...From what?"

"...Playing a game."

Harry blinked. "You sure?"

The girl nodded. "Uh huh... Nanoha wanted to play with me, Yuuno and Aruf and said that she needed to run off some energy."

"Well, see? Isn't this better than fighting?"

"Plus mother is less likely to try and get me while I'm in here."

"..." Harry sighed. "Do you hate her?"

"No!" She stood up, blushing as she realized what she did. "No... I don't hate her... I... I just want her to be proud of me... That's all."

Harry sat down on his couch and offered her a seat. "Listen, Miss Testorosa, sometimes... Sometimes you have to realize that you're in a bad situation and need to get out of it. Granted, I don't think being friends with someone who wanted to blow you up is a good thing but..."

"Ah ha! Found you, Fate-chan!" Nanoha smiled and ran up to her. "Come on! Help me find Yuuno."

Harry blinked as Fate was drug out of his office, even if she was saying something, there was a small smile on her lips. "...I have no idea what to say..."

"Well, I do."

"What, Bull?"

"I think that the blond is just happy that her friend is paying attention to her."

"You think so?"

"Yeah, I mean, little brother Ryoga was always happy when someone would pay attention to him, even if he acted upset and angry all the time."

"Really? What kind of games did you play, Bull?"

"Well, tag, wrestling, catch. Little brother Ryoga always did have trouble with his strength, he could always throw me through the house easily."

"Well, you were younger..."

"Yeah... Still hurt when I went from the back yard, through four walls and into the front yard by accident."

"I bet, I bet. Suppose we should go help find their friends?"

"Well, if they're playing hide and seek, sure."

"Yeah." Harry smiled. At least this way he could keep an eye on the girls, relax a bit and keep an eye out for Fate's mother. "Wait a minute, does anyone know what that girl's mother looks like?"

"Huh... I don't think so."

Harry rolled his eyes as he walked out. "Great."

________________

Those who saw the show knows that when they weren't in the court room, they dealt with more serious matters, but there was always humor topped with that stuff.


	6. Naruto V Orochi People V Hinata House

Dis-claim-er - Neither I nor any of the other authors hold any rights or privileges to the characters used in this story. Copyright is given to the creators/holders where applicable. Only thing I (might) have any hold on is the idea to create this, and it's probably a jointly held idea anyway.

* * *

"Next case..."

"One...Naruto Uzumaki vs. Orochimaru."

"What're the charges, Mac?"

"Um, something about... kidnapping, idea stealing and bodily harm."

"Ooohkay..." Harry blinked as he looked at the defendants. "Michael Jackson?"

"...If someone asks me that again, I'll shove some of my snakes so far up their..."

"Hey now," Bull stood up, yelling. "There are children here," he said, pointing at Naruto.

Harry nodded. "Thank you, Bull. Now, Mr. Uzumaki, you claim that Orochimaru here kidnapped someone..."

"My friend, Sasuke."

"Oh, COME on! He tried to kill you on several occasions! What kind of friend would do that?"

Suddenly, several people stood up in the audience at the same time.

Harry banged his gavel several times. "Okay, you guys, sit down right now!"

Ranma, Nanoha, Goku, and Kenpachi all groaned, but sat down.

"Okay, so he tried to kill your homicidal best friend, got it. Stealing ideas... What?"

"Yeah, it was MY idea to make those awesomely weird summons."

"I got the patent, I get the credit!"

"Clucky says otherwise."

Meanwhile, back at Orochimaru's base...

"ARRRRGH! STUPID LOG!"

Back in the court...

"And...Bodily harm?"

"...He touched me in a bad place."

"I DID NOT YOU *(#$%&#*($&(*&#$(*&#$ PIECE OF (*#&!!!"

Of course, the easiest way to get on the bad side of Bull is to do something bad to children, so Orochimaru already had one strike against him for appearing on a charge related to children. The second was the first time he swore at Naruto. So, when he went on a tangent the final time, it wasn't a big surprise to most of the assembled court when Bull finally put the tips and tricks he'd learnt as a bailiff in Judge Stone's court.

"HOLY! Are...are his ears actually pinned behind his head?" gasped a suddenly greenish Nanoha

"Yep...though pulling his tongue out and hog tying him is a bit new," agreed Roz

"Alright Bull, that's enough," said Judge Stone as he called for order, "he's been handled just fine."

"Hey, Roz, how often do we get to judge real criminals anyway?"

"Oh, okay," acquiesced Bull as he let the pale Snake Sannin go.

"Since we started handling the cases no one wants during the day?" asked Roz, "Seems to be more and more often, anyway..."

"Heh heh, Moo," said Kakashi as he studied the milk carton in his hands.

Harry rubbed his eyes. "Mr. Orochimaru, I'm sentencing you to 50 years in prison. Get him out of here."

"With pleasure." Bull smiled and grabbed Orochimaru, before throwing him out of the room, and into the wall across the hall.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAA-ACK!"

"Next case."

"People vs. the residents of the Hinata Girls Dormitory, your Honor," said Mac as he handed the case file to Harry, "this one'll be a doozy, sir..."

Harry grabbed the file, but dropped it on the floor. "This is heavy."

"Yes sir..."

"No, seriously, that was heavy. How did you lift it?"

"Mr. Saotome's been offering lessons at the Bailiff's Lounge for anyone who wants them," offered Mac coolly, "if we'd had anyone like him at Vietnam, hoo-wee..."

"Really?"

"Sir, if Ranma had been on our side during Vietnam, we would've won that war, taken over China, Russia and North Korea in a few months."

"...Really?"

"I think so at least."

"Right, anyway, what's this case about?"

Dan straightened his tie as he grinned lecherously, "Your Honor, the People are charging the residents as a whole instead of individually for destruction of multiple hotels, residences, and vehicles, as well as various assault charges and public indecency violations."

"Let's see... Naru...punch? What the?"

"Your Honor," Christine interrupted, "my clients were simply overly enthusiastic about being in the city. The indecency violations stem from Miss Narusegawa's eager defense of herself and others from lecherous individuals, not unlike Dan, which simply got out of hand."

"Okay, but did she have to put Mr. Urashima through all the physical trauma?" asked Harry

"Aww, young love," Bull gushed, "it's so sweet to see two kids falling in love, getting closer, having such a romantic time..."

Roz just rolled her eyes with a muttered, "Oh, Lord..."

Someone stood up in the audience. "It's so true." Everyone turned to see a large man in a dirty gi nodding sagely. "It's just like my son and his..." He was silenced by a yellow ball of Ki smacking into his head and sending him through the wall.

"Damn it, Pops! Shut up!"

"ORDER! ORDER!" Harry bellowed, "Mr. Saotome, please refrain from sending other members of the Gallery through the walls, if you would. While Art loves the extra work, he's only one man."

"Sorry, judge, but that man's an idiot."

"If we hit everyone who was an idiot, Mr. Saotome, the world would be a lot more violent."

"Too true, your Honor, too true,"

"Okay, so... Exactly what did Mr. Urashima do to you, Miss Nagesawa to deserve to get hit as hard as you reportedly hit him?"

"He groped me in the hallway while I was trying to dry off from the shower!" growled the upset brunette, "He's always falling on us like that..."

"So, he fell... Perhaps he tripped over something?"

"No one's that clumsy."

"WAGH!"

Everyone turned to blink as Keitaro fell... Right onto Motoko, causing them both to fall... With his hands on her ass.

"Impressive." Dan muttered as he looked down. "Oh, that's where I left my briefcase."

"URA-SHI-MA!" Motoko bellowed, "REMOVE YOUR HANDS BEFORE I REMOVE THEM FOR YOU!"

"ORDER! ORDER!" Harry hit his gavel down several times. "DAN! Why was your briefcase there?"

"Uh, I forgot it was there, Harry."

"Okay," drawled Harry, "Ms. Sullivan, it is pretty obvious that Mr. Urashima is a clumsy individual; however, that does not excuse their destruction of...Carnegie Hall while Mel Torme was performing?!?!"

Both Dan and Christine could only look at Judge Stone and Christine's clients before muttering a low, "Oh crap..."

Bull looked at Roz, both paling as they jumped into the jury box for cover.

"All right, all right, calm down guys," Harry admonished, "Ladies, especially the ones who are old enough to know better, you should know better than to attack someone for something that could be beyond their control. That said; the of-age residents are sentenced to thirty days community service repairing the damaged property and anger management classes, while the minors are free to go with the stipulation that Mr. Urashima and his cousin continue to take care of them."

Everyone nodded and was quickly led out of the room.

"Wow, Harry, you were really calm there."

"Excuse me, Mac; I need to go to my chambers for awhile." He quickly got up and walked out of the room.

"Well, that could have gone worse." Dan muttered.

"ARRRRRRRRRRGH!"

* * *

_**---I have a feeling that we did a more or less fanon portrayal of Love Hina's cast this time...and we didn't even make any melon jokes...or make Shinobu go "Auuu..."**_


	7. People V Farnsworth People V Negi

Dis-claim-er - Neither I nor any of the other authors hold any rights or privileges to the characters used in this story. Copyright is given to the creators/holders where applicable. Only thing I (might) have any hold on is the idea to create this, and it's probably a jointly held idea anyway.

_**Note: We do appreciate requests, and the more familiar we are with the source material, the faster or better the results will be. If you want something to appear, let us know and send a PM or Email! Now on with the show!**_

**_

* * *

_**

"People vs. Professor Farnsworth."

"...Mac, are you sure that the age is right?"

"Seems to be, 161 years old."

"BAH! Why am I here?"

"Well, Professor Farnsworth, you're here because... You build doomsday weapons?!"

"You don't understand the value of those doomsday weapons! One day we'll need those doomsday weapons!"

"Err...okay. Your case, Mr. Counselor?"

"Professor...Farnsworth has developed a series of rather lethal and illegal weapons, your Honor. Not the least of which is the Q. T. McWhiskers from Momcorp."

Christine interjected, "Your Honor, that was simply a child's toy that was turned into a weapon of war by that company!"

"She was MAD I tell you! Mad! Turning a cute little toy into an engine of destruction! At least she could have used my genetically altered apes!"

"Oh boy..." Harry sighed, "Professor Farnsworth, given your advanced age and...We'll just go with that. 30 Days, 1600 hours community service, and for the love of God, stop making things that blow up!"

"Bah! Taking away a mad scientist's ability to make doomsday weapons! What next? The mad grad student to make lethal doses of chemical weapons?! Where will it end?!"

"C'mon, Grandpa," Bull said cheerfully as he pulled the Professor away from the bench, "I'll make sure you get plenty of pudding and naps in the holding cells."

"At least let me have my beef jerky!" He hollered as he was led out of the courtroom.

Dan shook his head. "Harry, I think that the cases have gotten weirder."

"You're telling me. Mac, what's the next case?"

"People vs. Negi Springfield, charged with multiple counts of corrupting minors and child endangerment."

"See here now," a voice from below the edge of the bench said curtly, "How can I corrupt someone who's as old or older than me?"

Harry and Mac looked over the edge of the bench. "Mac, didn't we do this one time before? Something about a dog?"

"Yes sir, and I don't think this one will turn out much different," Mac said with a grin.

Roz shook her head. "Kids start young these days."

"Yep."

"Your Honor," Dan smirked as he walked to the bench, "Mr. Springfield has taken his young charges on several 'Field Trips' and every one has had some...thing go wrong and create trouble. On top of that, he's been seen locking lips with many of his students..."

"Now, Dan," Harry leaned back as he smiled, "Just because he's doing something you wish you'd done as a child..."

"Harry," Dan explained, "If you'd seen the girls I'd gone to school with, you'd join the priesthood and swear off women forever..." He shuddered.

Not knowing quite how to respond to that, Harry turned to the Defense attorney, "Ms. Sullivan, let's hear the other side..."

"Certainly, your Honor," agreed Christine.

"In my client's defense, he is regularly the target for hostile forces and the ladies in question seem to come onto him."

"Come on, Christine, there's no way a bunch of, what, 12, 13 year olds are going to go for a twerp like him," Dan said contemptuously.

"HEY! You take that back about Negi-sensei!" A blond stood up. "And for your information! I'm 16!"

"Damn! Too young," Dan groused, "Fine then, shouldn't we have them up here for corrupting Mr. Springfield then?"

Harry looked at the case file. "...Vampires, Robots, Ninjas, Chinese martial artists..."

"Amazons, WHERE?!"

"Mr. Saotome! Calm down!"

"Sorry, your Honor..." he scratched the back of his head as he sat down.

Harry sighed, seriously, what was up with him getting a word in every case? "Ghosts?"

"WHERE?!"

"Mr. Kenpachi! We said ghosts, not hallows!"

"...Damn." The big guy muttered and sat back down. He wanted a good fight.

Meanwhile, Sayo Aisaka tried to sink even further into the seat she was in, hoping to avoid getting Konpaku'd.

"Now, where was I? ...Your AUNT?! You kissed your aunt?"

"Was she hot?"

"DAN!"

"What? It's a legitimate question."

Harry just shook his head, "Mr. Springfield, do you have anything to say in your defense?"

"My life was in danger at the time."

"So... You kissed your aunt?"

"I didn't know she was my aunt at the time."

"You know, that happened to me at a family reunion one time," Bull remarked casually, "but it was my aunt who did it to me..."

"Well, she did kiss me..."

Bull nodded. "Yeah, sometimes they really get grabby."

Harry, not knowing what to day, simply sat there with his head propped up on his hands.

"Well, she saved my life." Negi responded.

"Okay, that's enough... I'm pretty sure that you're innocent here. Those other girls on the other hand..."

"Your Honor, the people rest and will not pursue charges," Dan said as he straightened his tie.

Harry nodded. "Remember to get those girls in here at a later date if possible."

"Right."

"Let's take five everyone."


	8. People VS The Brain

Dis-claim-er - Neither I nor any of the other authors hold any rights or privileges to the characters used in this story. Copyright is given to the creators/holders where applicable. Only thing I (might) have any hold on is the idea to create this, and it's probably a jointly held idea anyway.

* * *

"Next case!"

"People vs the Brain."

"Oooh! Sounds like someone with a big head!" Bull stopped and blinked as he got a look at the defendant. "Except that his head is tiny."

"We get that Bull. Now then, Mr... Brain... It seems... Wow, you've been a busy boy, haven't you?"

"Actually I'm a genetically engineered lab rat with aspirations of taking over the world."

"...Riiiiight. It seems here that you've caused several disturbances down town, the least of which was the steam roller going out of control and destroying part of the Mets stadium."

"Eh, no big loss there."

"Dan!"

"What? It's true."

"Your Honor, despite my clients aspirations," here, Christine gave Brain a long look, "he has never successfully taken over the world, nor has he ever caused more than a few million dollars damage to isolated locations, which is far better than a few of my previous clients..."

"Vegeta...I think she's talking about you..."

"SHUT THE BLEEP! UP NAPPA!"

Harry nodded and looked at Dan. "Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Anything to say?"

"Well, he HAS tried to take over the Earth, took over small countries, nearly killed dozens of world leaders and sank the Titanic."

"That was Pinky, not me."

"NARF!"

"Wow, well, there's not a whole lot I can do about anything from history, as the statute of limitations had to have run out somehow," Harry muttered, "so at this point, this court can only rule on the motion in front of it...by the way, Mac, what is the motion?"

"Destroying Mets Stadium because Mr. Brain here was trying to build a better super robot."

"...We have a lot of Super Robot problems don't we?"

"Yep."

"Alright, then, Mr. Brain, we'll go for 30 days and a $160 fine for operating heavy machinery without a license. Let's take five everyone!" Harry called out as he slammed his gavel down.


	9. Youma VS Sailor Senshi and Chibi Moon!

Dis-claim-er - Neither I nor any of the other authors hold any rights or privileges to the characters used in this story. Copyright is given to the creators/holders where applicable. Only thing I (might) have any hold on is the idea to create this, and it's probably a jointly held idea anyway.

* * *

"Next case!"

"One Youma vs the Sailor Senshi."

"Wow... Nice legs on you..."

"Keep your hands off!"

"Uranus, be nice to the prosecutor."

"But Neptune... HEY!"

Harry sweat-dropped as Uranus kicked Dan in the gut so hard that he was lifted off the ground. "Now, Dan, you really had that coming, openly pawing her rear end is a fast way to get beaten up."

"N...*Gasp wheeze* Noted!"

"Sheesh! You would've thought he would've learned when I beat him up."

"Should I befriend him?"

"...You really want someone like that as a friend?"

"Ewww... You're right."

"Yeah, even Kenny doesn't want him as a friend."

"He's not worth a fight."

"Alright, peanut gallery, quiet down!"

Ranma, Nanoha, Fate and Yachiru all grumbled and sat down.

Harry groaned, what was up with such people anyway?

"Now, Mr. Youma," Harry sighed as he looked over the case file, "Why are you here before my court?"

"I was collecting energy."

"Stealing it!" Sailor Moon stood up and pointed at the Youma.

"HEY! I'll have you know that I PAID the people!"

"So, you're a pimp then?"

Everyone stared at Mars. "NO! It's like getting your blood drawn. Besides, none of the people drained died!"

"So, why would you need that much energy then, Mr. Youma?"

"It was for my children. It's been so hard since the Dark Kingdom went under. Then these nine showed up and attacked me!"

"Pluto-mama, are we really bad guys?"

"No, but I think that the Youma's lying."

"I am not!"

"Uh, Mr. Youma, there's ten."

"Huh?" The youma looked at the pink haired girl. "Oh, didn't notice her, she's useless anyway."

"Your Honor, technically, Miss..." Christine looked at her case file and back at the pink haired girl, "Are you really called Small Lady?"

"Puu calls me that."

"Right... Anyway, Miss...Small Lady is not a part of this case, as she is the daughter of the leader, Sailor Moon..." Christine threw her case file down, "Do I really have to continue this?"

"Yes, because they wear tiny miniskirts..."

"SHUT UP...wait, that wasn't Nappa..."

"Nope, Vegeta, it was the guy in the suit right there." Nappa pointed at Roy Mustang. "Besides, I wanna catch the Pokemon..." Nappa trailed off as he started to float toward Small Lady, a ghostly pokeball in his grip.

"No, Nappa. Not today."

"Aww..."

Harry banged his gavel several times, "Alright, people, settle down. Who is the leader amongst you? Is it the one in the red trimmed sailor fuku?"

"That's the one I'd've gone with," Roz commented.

"No! I am!" The multi-colored one spoke up, causing Sailor Mars to grumble to herself quietly.

"Wow, I think you had the right idea Roz," Bull said, "but then again, the tall one in the back looks like my niece, Makoto..."

"Bull, do you have family on every continent or just Japan?" asked Dan with a smirk.

"Well, there's my third cousin three times removed that lives in England and fights against Vampires... Then there's my great uncle on my mother's brother-in-law's side of the family that practices magic and lives in Atlanta... Then there's..."

"That's enough Bull."

Meanwhile, Sailor Jupiter kept trying to hide behind just about all her fellow Sailors, without much luck...

"WOO! I can see her bloomers!"

A meaty thwack followed by glass shattering announced the violent departure of at least one pervert from the gallery.

"Hey, Vegeta..."

"What?"

"I wanna see Youma breed."

Everyone was quiet and looked at the ghost stupidly.

"Fuck NO, Nappa!"

"Awww..."

"Jupiter, you okay..? You've been staring at the prosecutor for awhile now..."

He looks like my old boyfriend."

"Jupiter, he's twice your age."

"Yeah... It's the eyes..."

"Dan, you mollested an underage girl?"

"Bull, I just look like her old boyfriend."

"...So, you are?"

"...Yes... Yes I am."

"Okay, you're coming down to the cell with me."

"It was sarcasm, Bull! Sarcasm!"

"...Oh."

Meanwhile, Harry put his face in his hands before wiping his face, "Alright, since Mr. Youma is a supernatural terror who managed to survive an encounter with it's natural predator, and since I'm a generous judge, I'll fine the Sailor Senshi $30 each and everyone's free to go." *BANG*

"But your Honor, I didn't even present a case," Dan complained.

"Dan, the Peanut Gallery beat you to it."

The people in the court room grumbled.

"Next case, what is it, Mac?"

"Well sir, Ms. Moon and Mr. Mask get to come back once again. The State v Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask, child endangerment of their future child."

"Mac, is it just me or does that kid look nothing like those two?"

"I'll put a call into Child Services sir."

"WAH! SHE REALLY IS OUR DAUGHTER FROM THE FUTURE!"

"... Put in for a full drug screening for Ms. Moon."

"Pluto! Tell them."

"...I deny everything."

"Pluto!"

"I got kicked off the Senshi after my planet got demoted."

"..."

Roz shook her head. "That's one way to get back at your former employer..."

Pluto looked at Roz and nodded, "Amen!"

"Wow, this is really interesting." Bull commented, "it's like watching a Soap Opera."

"Pluto! Just tell them the truth!"

"...You can't handle the truth."

"What?"

"The truth is, Sailor Moon, Chibi Moon is not your daughter."

"WHAAAAT!?"

Harry was about to say something but he saw the green-haired Senshi wink at him when Sailor Moon wasn't looking. Okay, maybe this would be good.

"The truth is... Chibi Moon is the love child of myself and Ranma."

"WHAT?!"

The aforementioned Pig-tailed Martial Artist paled considerably...

"Ha ha! Look at that, Vegeta, she's the transvestite's kid!"

"Hey! I got a curse!"

"Transvestite, curse, what's the difference?"

"Shut up Nappa." Vegeta groaned.

"ORDER! ORDER! One more comment from anyone other than the lawyers and I'll have this courtroom cleared out!"

Everyone shut up and quieted down. The drama was too amusing, or too scary for them to want to get kicked out.

"Okay, it doesn't matter WHOSE child she is, do you or do you NOT send her out into danger?"

"Well... Yes, but..."

"Does she have enough power to handle the dangers on her own?"

Usagi slowly shook her head. "But..."

"I want you and your boyfriend to see professional help for this. In addition, I'm placing the pink-haired girl under protective custody for 30 days."

"But..."

"Case closed, let's take fifteen people!" Harry banged the gavel down and quickly left the court room. The last thing he needed to deal with was MORE of these idiots right now.


	10. Strike Witches

Dis-claim-er - Neither I nor any of the other authors hold any rights or privileges to the characters used in this story. Copyright is given to the creators/holders where applicable. Only thing I (might) have any hold on is the idea to create this, and it's probably a jointly held idea anyway.

* * *

"Alright, Mac, what's on the Docket today?"

"Well, sir, we've got a delightful list of petty crimes, mischief, and other assorted minor offences..." deadpanned Mac.

"So, same cases, different night, then?" asked Harry.

"Yep."

The door opened and a man hurried inside. "Sorry I'm late, m'lord." he said in a posh British accent. "The traffic was murderous." He was about 50-ish, of average build, and wearing the uniform of an RAF Air Chief Marshal.

"Sir, are you here for the prosecution or the defence?" Harry asked as he leaned forward on the bench.

"Prosecution, my lord." he said. "Air Chief Marshal Sir Trafford Leigh-Mallory, Air Officer Commanding 12 Group, RAF Fighter Command."

"Mr. ... Err ... Sir Leigh-Mallory is here as the Plaintiff, your Honour. He's charging the 501st Joint Fighter Wing with Destruction of Government Property and...Assault?" Dan looks at Sir Leigh-Mallory for confirmation.

Sir Trafford nodded. "My aide-de-camp, Squadron Leader James Maloney, suffered a cracked jaw, a dislocated shoulder and a broken leg during a fracas with members of the 501st."

Christine piped up, "Your Honour, my client was simply defending herself and her unit from an overly aggressive officer who sought to eliminate her unit outside proper protocols..."

There was a soft snort from the public viewing gallery.

"I'm sorry, did you have anything to add...?" asked Harry

"Hmm? Oh, sorry. Just a spot of Schaudenfreude." a Liverpool accented Englishman wearing the uniform of a Royal Navy Commander said. Leigh-Mallory glowered at him.

"Cousin Lambert...is that you?" Bull asked with an astonished smile on his face.

"Good Lord... Nostradamus? I haven't seen you in years." he grinned

"Yeah, well, when half the family is either lost, fighting crime, or disappearing in some mysterious arcane or technological accident..." Bull trailed off with a frown, "How's Cousin Victoria? She still with the Police?"

"Yep. Last month she got promoted to Senior Constable and was selected for the London Metropolitan's SO-19 Unit."

"Good to hear that she's moving up in the world, then," Bull smiled, "Could you give her my best?"

"Will do." Graham said

"Bull, as happy as I am to see you meeting a family member who isn't on trial here, do you suppose we could continue?" Harry asked with a slight frown.

"Sorry, sir..."

"Sorry, m'lud." Graham said.

"Okay, Wing Commander Wilcke, can we hear your side of the story please?"

Wilcke was a very pretty redheaded girl, not much older than 18 or 19. She stood and cleared her throat. "Your Honour," she said, in German-accented English. "Air Chief Marshal Leigh-Mallory has been conducting a, for want of a better term, a Witch-Hunt against myself and my comrades for a long time."

The entire courtroom was dead silent. Everyone could see Wilcke's dark red panties

"Vegeta, I can see her panties…and I'm not even trying…"

"For once Nappa, you're absolutely right…"

"Alright...so Squadron Leader Maloney was the middleman for Sir Trafford and because he was overly forceful, he was attacked," Harry surmised. "Then could you explain the Destruction of Governmental Property...and why your uniform seems oddly abbreviated?"

"I don't know, Sir, I don't see a problem with it..." Dan giggled as he ogled the beautiful redhead.

"Oi! Eyes off my fiancée!" Lambert snapped at Dan

"Y'know, ever since Jiraya and Happosai came through here, the quality of Dan's lechery has plummeted..." snarked Roz as she shook her head.

"And what a lucky man you are, Mr. Lambert!" Dan offered as he quickly back-pedalled from the topic.

Graham glared at him. Minna rolled her eyes and continued. "Your Honour, the reason for this is because of the specialized equipment the 501st Joint Fighter Wing uses in combat; the Striker Unit." she said. "I have some photographs that should explain."

Christine handed the pictures to Mac, who stared at them for a bit before handing them to Harry. Harry goggled a bit, rubbed his eyes, and then looked again.

"Are these correct? They're animal girls wearing pieces of old airplanes on them..."

"Objection! Prosecution hasn't seen this new evidence!" Dan shouted as he scurried up to the bench.

"If you leer at Minna's image mate, God help me, I'll go Joe Louis on you!" Lambert roared at Dan

"I'M NOT LOOKING!"

"Dan, calm down. Bull, as much as he's deserving it, your cousin cannot keep threatening the Prosecutor like that," Harry murmured.

"Save it after the trial?" Bull asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Save it after the trial."

"I apologize to the court..." Lambert said, after taking several calming breaths.

Roz just waved him off, "Don't worry about it. If it's not a lover, fiancée, or husband, it's usually the girl herself. He's good at escaping his own demise..."

Minna then began to explain. "The Striker Units were designed to harness our personal magic your Honour. When a Witch, which is what we are called, puts them on, we develop the animal features you see, such as a wolf in my case, or a rabbit in Flight Lieutenant Yeager's case."

"I see. Dan, does your client have an estimate on the damages?"

Leigh-Mallory pulled a piece of paper out of his tunic. "Fully itemized, My Lord. Total damages exceed half a million pounds."

Leigh-Mallory passed the paper to Dan, who passed it on to Harry.

"Hmm...that's a lot of equipment, Sir Leigh-Malloy," Harry remarked as he read the itemized list, "I also notice that this equipment is World War Two-era. Is there a reason for that?"

"Yes my lord, we're... not from this time zone..." he admitted after an awkward silence

"That explains so much..." Mac muttered as he looked at what looked like parchment paper.

"So, Bull, what's a Pound Sterling worth in 1940?"

Bull looked thoughtful for a moment, "Well, Harry, I think it's at least worth four US Dollars in 1940...and our Dollar today is worth at least 84 US Dollars in 1940, with inflation..."

Harry rolled his eyes, "So, we're looking at either $12 Million US Dollars or $252 Million US Dollars?"

"How much is an Aircraft Carrier worth these days?" Leigh-Mallory asked reasonably.

"Well, the replacement for the USS Enterprise was $108 Million to design..." Bull looked a little lost after that one...

"Thank you, Bull," Harry nodded at his bailiff before slamming the gavel down, "Sir Leigh-Mallory, in summation, you want the value of your destroyed equipment, which we're going to value at it's price in our 1940's, which is $12 Million Dollars, and an assault charge for a man, who didn't even show up to court today, that threatened an entire unit composed of young women?"

"... Now you mention it, it doesn't sound like I have a strong case, does it...?"

Harry shakes his head, "No, not really. How's this though: Wing Commander Wilcke, I sentence you and your unit to thirty days community service to help defend the city. With Vegeta always using the streets for backstops, Deadpool being Deadpool, and those Sailor Girls always in here with Miss Takamichi and Miss Harlaown for excessive force, we could use someone who seems to not value Overkill..."

"Jahwol!" she saluted

"Alright! Recess time, ladies and gentlemen! And Bull, spend some time with your cousin. I think we'll need Dan for a couple more hours..."

The people began to file out


	11. Marriage Bells

Dis-claim-er - Neither I nor any of the other authors hold any rights or privileges to the characters used in this story. Copyright is given to the creators/holders where applicable. Only thing I (might) have any hold on is the idea to create this, and it's probably a jointly held idea anyway.

* * *

"So, Harry, are you up for a wedding?" Bull asked joyfully as he polished his badge.

"Wedding?" Harry asked as he hung his robes up in his chambers

"Yeah, my nephew Keiichi is bringing his girlfriend on vacation, and since he's got such trouble back in Japan, I thought we could help!"

Harry looked a little pensive. "I dunno, Bull, marriage is a big step and all..."

"I think you could probably do better than Bull, Harry," Dan grinned as he walked through the door, an equally amused Christine following in his wake.

"Aw, guys, it's for my cousin...he's bringing his girlfriend over and I wanted Harry's help to get them married..." Bull said bashfully, accidentally knocking Dan onto the couch with a tap on the chest.

Christine's eyes lit up like a kid at Christmas, "Really? Oh, that's great Bull!" She turned to Harry, "C'mon, Harry, please?"

Of course, as Christine was giving Harry the puppy-dog stare, Bull was right behind her.

"Alright, fine," Harry sighed as he sat down, "I'll marry your cousin, Bull. Just bring him and his girlfriend by after the first trial, okay?"

"Thank you, Harry! You won't regret this!" Bull enthusiastically swept Harry up into a rib-crushing hug.

Harry just gave a sick grin as he awkwardly patted Bull on the back...

Bull looked over the Peanut Gallery, waving at his cousin and his girlfriend, before giving his opening address.

"All rise! Criminal Court part one is now in session! The Honourable Judge Harold T. Stone presiding!"

Bull pulled on Harry's robe as he rose to the bench, "My cousin Keiichi is here, he and his girlfriend are in the front row behind Christine."

"Thank you Bull, I'll keep that in mind," Harry gently pushed Bull to his normal place beside Roz as he sat down to start the proceedings.

"What's on the list today, Mac?"

Mac handed the first case file to Harry with a grin, "Oh, it's a good one tonight, sir. People v. Ootaki and Tamiya, charges are indecent exposure and public nuisance."

Harry looked puzzled for a moment, until Roz herded out two men, wearing a set of cheerleader outfits that were pretty darn short.

"MY EYES!"

"I tend to agree with Mr. Prosecutor," Harry grimaced, "What's with the outfit, gentlemen?"

"We are Tamiya, and Ootaki!" the two men shouted. "And we are da Chairmen of da Nekomi Instatute a' Technology's MOTOR CLUB!" they posed like superheroes.

A voice from the gallery cried out, "This is why men should never wear TINY MINISKIRTS!"

Harry looked perturbed as he shuffled the files on his desk for a moment, "Alright, and you lost a bet?"

"We's always tryin' ta get people ta join da club wid' stunts like dis." Tamiya said

Dan managed to shield his eyes and focus his thoughts enough to interject, "According to police and witness statements, Your Honor, these two...gentlemen...were performing some kind of cheer when Mr. Ootaki's high kick put more of himself on display than planned. When Mr. Tamiya tried to replicate the feat, the police were summoned."

Ootaki looked very embarrassed about it.

Keiichi put his face in his hands, groaning.

"Alright...but we're not anywhere near your school," Harry double-checked their file, "Nekomi Tech, right?"

The two of them nodded.

Christine stepped up, "Your Honour, my clients were simply trying to drum up support for their club. Admittedly, yes, they could've done it differently, but it was for a good cause."

The two men nodded vigorously

Harry grinned a bit, "Alright gentlemen, what exactly were you doing, then? I doubt very much that you were recruiting, right?"

"We were cheering on Morisato at a race." Ootaki said.

Bull looked up at that, "Morisato? Keiichi Morisato?"

Keiichi was a plain looking man with messy dark brown hair, who looked up at the mention of his name. "Yes?"

Bull grinned, "Hey, nephew! Didja win the race?"

"O-oji-san?" Keiichi said in surprise. "Y-yeah, I did..."

"That's great! I guess these two are your sempais you told me about?" Bull pointed at the two oddly dressed men.

Keiichi nodded. "That's them all right."

"Bull, please don't tell me they're here for what I think they're here for..." Harry asked with his head held up on his hands.

"With friends like these, that poor guy doesn't need no enemies," Roz muttered.

"Oh dear..." A soft, unutterably lovely female voice said

Dan immediately perked up as he turned around, "Hello! And you are?"

The voice had come from a beautiful young woman sitting beside Keiichi. She had crystal blue eyes, long wheat coloured hair, and somewhat unusually, had three small blue-coloured tattoos on her face: an inverted triangle on each cheekbone, and an elongated diamond shape in the centre of her forehead.

Bull put his hand on Dan's shoulder, digging in just a little, "Dan, you're not planning on doing something inappropriate with my nephew's fiancé, are you?"

"Nope, not me!" Dan squeaked as he tried to pry the vise grip off his shoulder.

Keiichi put his face in his hands. "Yare, yare...."

"Alright, alright..." Harry said as he pounded his gavel on the bench, "Mr. Ootaki, Mr. Tamiya, have you ever gotten in trouble at Nekomi for doing this? How about off campus but within the city?"

"Not very often." Ootaki said. "But there was one... well; we got an earful about it from the Dean..."

"But no actual formal punishments?"

They shook their heads.

"How's this: $100 fine and you promise you'll never wear those outfits at any point when in New York or if you ever visit again?" Harry asked.

They nodded. "Dat sounds fair."

Harry slammed his gavel down, "Alright! You can pay the man at the front desk. Case closed!"

The court rose.

Harry waved everyone down, "Calm down, I haven't called for lunch yet..."

He turned to Mac, "Anything we need to take care of here?"

"No, I think you can go ahead with the lunch call, Sir. Quon Le's bringing me something from home."

Harry nodded, "Alright, Mac. Ladies and gentlemen, we'll take a one hour recess for lunch and come back for part 2 of tonight's exciting entertainment!"

The court filed out.

"So, Keiichi, right? Bull mentioned you like to race, how's that working out for you?" Harry asked as he leaned on the table.

"It's been fine, sir." Keiichi said. "Though I wish my sempai's didn't get so caught up in it. I sometimes feel like I race more in one semester than someone in Formula One in a full year..."

"Wow, that sounds rough," Harry said, "How do you feel about that, Miss?"

"Belldandy." Bell said, giving him a sweet smile

Harry smiled, "That's a lovely name, miss. Is it on the racing circuit that you two met?"

"Actually, we first met many years ago, when Keiichi-kun was still at High School." Bell said. "We drifted out of contact for a while, until he telephoned the Goddess Helpline and I came to grant him a wish." she smiled fondly at Keiichi

"Aww...that's so sweet," Christine gushed.

Dan snorted, "Yeah, almost gives you cavities..."

Belldandy turned slightly and frowned at Dan

Bull stepped in before anything could happen, "Don't worry about Dan, Miss Belldandy. He's just grouchy when he doesn't get his way."

Bell smiled at Bull in thanks, before turning back to Harry

"So, I hear you two crazy kids are engaged, huh? What's kept you from getting married?" asked Harry.

"Father insisted that Keiichi prove himself worthy," she said. "That and a few other things..."

Christine frowned a bit, "Fathers can be a bit of a hassle..."

"Bah, her Dad just pulled the overprotective card," Dan huffed, "I've never had any girl's father do that to me, ever. It's not like lightning's going to strike if I'm lying, right?" He adjusted his tie as he started in on the mystery meat.

Harry and others had a ringside seat for what happened next. Dan was suddenly outlined as lightning struck him from every electrical socket in the room.

Bull, Christine, Harry, and Roz could only look on in awe.

A wizened old priest simply clapped his hands, and muttered, "This is fate."

A deep, sonorous voice boomed from the PA. "I would advise you not to think of My daughter in that way again, mortal."

Dan simply twitched a bit as an errant jolt erupted from his blackened tie.

The lightning had also branded the word Pervert on his forehead.

"Isn't that a little excessive, Father?" Bell asked the voice on the PA.

"Father? Kei, I thought her Dad was over in Europe," Bull asked warily.

"He is.... He's omnipresent..." he said slowly.

"So, friends in high places?" Roz asked with a small smirk

"You could say that."

"Well, it's been a pleasure to meet you, Miss Belldandy, and you as well, Mr. Morisato." Harry said as he stood up, "I think we'd better let Dan have a small nap, so Bull, if you'd be so kind as to bring him to my Chambers, we'll see you kids later?"

Keiichi and Belldandy bowed to him

"Alright. C'mon, Dan, nap time..." Bull said cheerfully as he carried the slightly charred prosecutor over his shoulder.

"But I don't wanna help Daddy farm dirt today, Mommy...it's Saturday..."

Christine and Roz shared a chuckle as they followed them out the door.

Everyone filed into the courtroom, ready to begin the next case.

"Psst, hey, Mr. Prosecutor," Ranma tugged on Dan's smoking jacket.

"What is it, can't you see I've got a case to win..."

Ranma snorted as he folded his arms over his chest, "Look, buddy, all I wanna know is, are you related to the Kuno family? That word on yer head looks like somethin' I did to him when we was in school last year..."

"Please, that's ridiculous..." Dan said as he turned around.

Ranma ignored him as he continued, "You're also bad at gettin' women, and you are a big lecher...don't even get me started on your obsession with your appearance..."

Dan rubbed his face a bit, "Alright, fine, I am related to those loonies, very very distantly, I might add!"

"AH HA! Toldja I was right, Akane!"

Akane looked away as she held out her hand, "Fine, you were right, you won the bet. What did you want for a reward?"

"You can't call me a pervert for the rest of our vacation, that's what I want," Ranma smirked.

Harry banged his gavel a couple times, "Glad you could clear that up, Mr. Saotome. Now, I think we've got our next case...Mac?"

"Excel Excel v. Lord Ilpalazzo and ACROSS, charge is illegal hiring practices and not paying promised wages..."

Excel Excel charged into the room, bouncing off the walls, the ceiling, and the tables, before coming to a stop. "I'm okay!" she said as she popped up again

Dan frowned a bit, "Goody. Now, could I have my briefcase back? I think it's around your neck there..."

She hurled the briefcase back over to him. *CLONK!*

"OW!" Dan shouted as he fell back into his chair, "Thank you very much..."

"Excel is sorry...," she said

"That's fine. No permanent damage done, Miss Excel," Harry smiled at her, "Now, Dan, what's the story?"

"Well, Your Honour, Lord Ilpalazzo and ACROSS deliberately refused to promote my client despite her seniority in their service. Instead, they made her the chief janitor and refused to pay her a living wage..."

"ACK! Hat-chan, what are you doing there?!" Excel suddenly yelled, leaping up out of her box.

"Oh, Hello Senior...this was such a quiet place, I thought I'd have a quick nap before your trial..." Hyatt said peacefully, "I guess your trial has started?"

Excel helped Hyatt sit up.

"You didn't need to grab Excel like that, did you?" she asked the frail woman

"Well, no Senior, but the back of your chair was so high up..." Hyatt said, before a cough racked her body.

Excel rolled her eyes and began to pat Hyatt's back

Unfortunately, this caused Hyatt to spit up a bit of blood as she passed out.

Naturally, this spooked Dan a bit.

"Uhm, that's not normal..." he muttered as he stepped back.

"Ack! Stop dying on Excel, Hat-chan!" Excel said, getting a car battery out and zapping Hyatt.

This time, even Bull was stunned, "Holy cow!"

"Uhm, Miss Excel, will she be okay?" Harry asked.

"Oh, Hat-chan is always dying. She'll be up and about again in a minute."

"Alright then, moving along..." Harry sighed as he turned to Christine, "And your client's story?"

"Your Honour, before we explain, I'd like to enter into evidence my client's proof that Excel Excel has never adequately fulfilled her duties," Christine said as she turned to the bailiffs, "Bull? Roz?"

Bull slowly wheeled in Excel's Mop and Bucket while Roz pulled in the TV and VCR.

"Counsellor, why is there a mop and bucket in my courtroom? Art might need those..." Harry asked as Bull set up the TV.

"Your Honour, those are her standard issue tools. You'll notice how clean they are?" Christine asked as she pointed this out to him.

Excel looked a little worried

Harry nodded as he looked at Excel, "Miss Excel, were you given duties that would require you to use these as part of your job?"

"Excel is always being given jobs like this by Lord Ilpalazzo, when he is not dropping Excel into the flooded underground chamber filled with crocodiles."

Dan piped in here, "Crocodiles, snakes, insects, various breeds of simian, and other assorted creepy crawlies as well, Your Honour."

"Your Honour, the video evidence will speak for itself," Christine muttered as she pushed the video into the machine.

As the screen focused, a figure in fine red velvet robes appeared. He wore a powdered wig and was holding a gavel as if to strike. His glasses glinted in the light as he gave a speech.

"I, Koshi Rikdo, after much deliberation, do hearby grant my permission for the Excel Saga anime to be portrayed in the form of a gripping courtroom drama." he said in a grand, deep voice. He then banged his gavel, leaving his hanko on a piece of paper.

"And this is?" Harry asked.

"Oh, he always appears whenever we do anything." Excel waved it off

"Alright," Harry agreed, "Continued."

The edited highlights reel began

It started with Excel being run over by a truck and being taken to hospital in an ambulance

The courtroom winced, "That's gotta hurt!"

And then began the series of her embarrassing failures and the fallout from them

"That looked like a bazooka," Mac said as he watched Ilpalazzo blow her up.

"Excel takes her punishment from the beloved Lord Ilpalazzo because she believes that he and the secret ideological organization of ACROSS is destined to take over the world!" she said, doing a 'V-for-victory' gesture

"POIT! Gee, Brain, isn't that what we're gonna do tonight?"

"It was Pinky...but now we've got a new goal tonight...we shall try to take over...ACROSS!"

Naturally, everyone ignored the tiny planners as the video kept rolling...

"Wish I had that kinda marksmanship," Roz commented as Ilpalazzo put a round between Excel's eyes.

"Oh lawsy lawsy..." The Great Will of the Macrocosm sighed

Harry banged his gavel, "Alright, I think we've seen enough; especially of that poor guy in the purple shirt."

"What will become of poor Pedro now?" the ghostly figure wailed. "Pedro is crying twin waterfalls as his heart is torn in two... !!!!" he cried.

"It's a ghost Pokémon! I'm gonna catch it!" Ghost Nappa turned to his poor partner, "Watch this, Vegeta!"

"Dammit, Nappa, that's not going to...fuck it, go ahead..." the Prince of all Saiyans groused as he sunk lower on the bench seat.

Bedlam was befalling the courtroom

"ALRIGHT! ORDER! ORDER IN THE COURT!" Harry bellowed from the bench as he slammed his gavel down repeatedly, "Vegeta, I know you can't control your partner, but a little help is appreciated! Nappa, Sit, Down, or I will let the Ghostbusters practice on YOU!"

At this, Nappa rushed to his spot floating next to Vegeta, twiddling his thumbs and whistling horribly off-key.

Excel sat back in her seat as Hyatt revived

"Alright. Now, Miss Excel, given how often it looked like that floaty disk with arms revived you..."

Harry paused as he noticed that same item standing in the back with the aforementioned Pedro.

Everyone turned to look as well

"Ahem, I would be the Great Will of the Macrocosm, actually..."

"Thank you," Harry said, "I would have to agree that you should be given at least hazard pay for your performance, as you seem to be an active combatant of some kind..."

Excel looked delighted by that. Finally, she'd be able to pay for food, and her back rent!

Harry continued, "Though you should also have performed your other duties, even if they did ignore your seniority. That said, I'm more than happy...uhm...is the video still going?"

They were up to the part where the Puchuu's had destroyed F City

Bull looked to Keiichi and Belldandy, "You guys know where F City is? Looks like they need some help rebuilding..."

"That would be Fukuoka, Fukuoka Prefecture..." Keiichi said

Christine looked shocked as she jabbed a finger at Ilpalazzo, "You didn't tell me you wrecked an entire city!"

"Some sacrifices have to be made, so that the ignorant masses may fall into line under my benevolent tyranny." Ilpalazzo said serenely.

Hyatt stood up with her hand in salute, "Hail Ilpala...," only to turn blue in the face and fall onto Dan.

"GETHEROFF! GETHEROFF!" Dan screamed as he pushed the unconscious blunette onto Excel as he ran behind Bull.

"Ack! Hat-chan, don't grab me there!" Excel said. "Only Lord Ilpalazzo is allowed to touch that!"

Harry just sighed as he held his head in his hands, "I don't suppose I can get you guys to calm down without a gavel, huh?"

Belldandy coughed firmly, and everyone fell silent

"Thank you, Miss Belldandy," Harry nodded to her in appreciation.

Bell smiled at Harry

"Now, as I was saying..." Harry trailed off, "There needs to be some form of recompense, even if only for emotional trauma and the like."

Excel nodded

"So, therefore, it is my ruling that Excel Excel shall receive her full pay, backdated to her hiring date, with a bonus equal to one and a half times her normal pay multiplied by however many times she may have died or nearly so while attempting to complete a mission."

Ilpalazzo looked a bit sour now

Harry looked to Christine and Ilpalazzo, "How much would she make normally at her job, Mr. Ilpalazzo?"

"Nothing." he said. "She's an unpaid intern."

This, naturally, shocked the courtroom.

Excel's stomach growled like a thunderstorm in the silence

"So you mean to tell me, that you put these girls in harm's way for free?" Harry was aghast at Ilpalazzo's seeming indifference. Bull wore a dark look on his face...

"Oooh... Excel is feeling weak from hunger...." Excel mumbled. "But such mere trifles must not be allowed to get in the way of Lord Ilpalazzo's bidding!" she declared, a slightly manic glint in her eye

Even Dan's face was set in stone at this little titbit, "How long has it been since you've eaten, Miss Excel?"

The long drawn-out pause as Excel tried to work it out was very very telling

Harry gave Ilpalazzo a very pointed look, "I think, at least $50,000 US should be sufficient to start with, as that's about a median wage. We'll tack on an additional $100,000 for pain, suffering, and combat pay. Don't you think so Dan? Bull?"

"Six months!" Excel declared suddenly. "But Excel is willing, nay eager, to go to any lengths to serve Lord Ilpalazzo, no matter what the toll on her body!"

"We'll also throw in a stay at the local mental ward on our dime, as a free gift," Harry sighed as he banged his gavel, "Case closed!"

The TV flickered into life again.

Christine was walking up to the TV at the time, "I thought after they escaped that was the end..."

The static on the screen faded to reveal a sinfully gorgeous tanned woman with platinum blond hair reaching out to the camera

Unexpectedly, the woman's' hands came through the screen and gripped the sides of the TV

The woman's head came through the screen, and she grunted a bit as she squeezed out. "Man, that's tight..." she said, in a vaguely southern accent as she smoothed down a fold in her plunging v-necked dress.

"Oh, my Goddess..." Dan muttered as he started to drool a bit, his eyes roving her exquisite form.

"Urd, what are you doing here?" Belldandy asked in confusion

Bull looked over to Keiichi and Belldandy, "You know her, Keiichi?"

"Belldandy's half-sister." he mouthed back

Bull nodded at that and stepped back a bit.

"Well, that was certainly a flashy entrance, Miss Urd," Harry applauded her, "Can you do any other magic tricks? I can pull a rabbit out of my robes..."

"Please sir...not in the courtroom," begged Christine, knowing Harry's predilection to magic tricks.

Urd smiled at Harry and sauntered up to the desk. "My card, cutie." she winked at him. It read:

*Urd Odinsdottir, Goddess Second Class Management Limited License, Norn of the Past and Goddess of Love (papers pending)*

Mac looked over Harry's shoulder, "What does it mean, 'papers pending'?"

"I'm trying to get that approved." Urd smiled

"Alright, Miss Urd, what can we do for you," asked Harry.

Dan leaned forward a bit, "Please?"

"Oh, I'm just here to see my little sis get married." Urd said. "That and get a taste of The Big Apple."

Dan shivered at that, slumping slightly as Christine looked on him in disgust, "Dan Fielding, you're such a pig!"

*BZAP*

Dan got shocked again.

"Good shot," Roz said as she gave Urd a golf clap.

"Thanks." she said

"Okay, Miss Urd, I appreciate you show of restraint toward Mr. Prosecutor," Harry said with a smile, "Bull, why don't you grab Dan and invite Mr. Morisato and his friends back to my chambers, we'll discuss the ceremony."

Bull saluted happily, "Yes sir!" He turned to Dan, "Alright Dan, time for another nap on the couch," he said as he swung the electrified man over his shoulder.

"Someone stop the world...I wanna get off..." Dan muttered as they processed out of the courtroom.

Keiichi, Belldandy, and Urd followed them. Just outside Harry's Chambers, they met a dark-haired woman who also had blue marks on her face. She was barefoot, and wearing a black bikini-like costume with leather straps over the arms and down her back.

The procession stopped as Harry greeted the new visitor, "Hello, can I help you?"

"Ah, but of course, Cheri." she said, in a lilting French accent. "Je suis Peorth, and I am 'ere to witness mon amie Belldandy get married..."

Christine turned to Belldandy, "Is everyone you know that good looking, or is it just luck?"

Belldandy blushed and smiled demurely.

Harry opened the door to his chambers, ushering everyone in. As people took seats around the room, Bull leaned over and put Dan on the couch, Dan's suit still slightly smoking.

Keiichi gave Dan a concerned look

Mac noticed Keiichi's look, "Don't worry 'bout him, he'll pull through okay. Besides, with him out cold, he can't give people a reason to blast him."

Roz nodded as she stood behind the couch, Sharpie marker at ready, "On top of that, do you want him in your wedding party?"

Belldandy frowned at that, something that alarmed Urd.

Harry, not noticing the byplay, looked through his mini-fridge for refreshments, I've got some diet colas, Kool-Aid, and some bottled water. If you want anything else, you'll need to go to the cafeteria..."

"We're fine." Urd said quickly, carefully steering Bell away from the soda.

"You sure? I've got a hot plate and a kettle for tea, though all I've got is the regular cheap stuff," Harry remarked as he held up a package of tea.

Keiichi leaned over. "It's not good for Belldandy to drink soda...," he whispered

Bull leaned over to Keiichi, "Why not?"

"She gets blindingly drunk on as much as a sip of it," he explained

"Don't let Dan know," Bull said solemnly.

"Let Dan know what?" said the semi-conscious prosecutor, his face marked up, making him look like Groucho Marx.

"Nothing..." everyone said

"Oh." Dan slumped back on the couch, dead to the world.

Keiichi looked relieved

Harry sat down at his desk, a glass of Kool-Aid in his hand, "So, is everyone here that should be here?"

"Well, other than Dan, everyone I'm aware of is here," Bull said as he looked around.

Suddenly, there was a great up swelling of Heavenly music

The doors swung open as a bright white light poured into the room

"Good entrance," Harry mumbled.

Into the room strode a grizzled looking older man with a beard and an eye patch, wearing a leather cloak over a business suit

Bull waved from his chair, "Hello!"

"Greetings." the man boomed, before coughing a bit. "Sorry. I forget sometimes." He said in a normal voice

Harry stood up and greeted the newcomer, "Hello, sir, I'm going to take a shot and say you're here for the bride, right?"

"A busy man I may be, but even I would not miss this, the day of My daughters' wedding."

Christine sniffled a bit, imagining her daddy coming to her wedding.

Keiichi looked very worried. After all, this was Kami-sama, The Almighty One, and his soon to be Father-in-Law.

Mac sat down next to Keiichi, "Hey, buck up son, it's not like it's the end of the world if her father doesn't like you..."

Keiichi gave him a look

Mac leaned back a little, "That bad, huh?"

"You realise that my future father-in-law is God, right?" Keiichi said softly

"Tryin' to avoid that thought, actually..." Mac said.

"Ah." Keiichi said.

"So, should we have the ceremony in here, or would you prefer out in the courtroom?"

Belldandy smiled. "Could we have it performed as soon as possible, please?"

Harry smiled and stood up, "I don't see why not, let me grab my robes here," he walked over to his coat rack, "There we are..."

Walking back to his desk, he pulled Keiichi and Belldandy up to his desk, "Alright, guys, why don't you stand here, and witnesses?" He looked at the assembled group, "Urd, how about you and Bull stand here," he said as he pulled them just to the left of his desk.

Keiichi and Belldandy took hold of each others' hands and smiled at each other

"Alright, let me get behind my desk here," Harry muttered as he pushed his chair away, "Now, there's not much to say here, so I'll just start. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, in this Judge's Chambers to see this lovely couple be married. Obviously, this is something they both really want, so we'll skip to the best part."

Urd smiled as she pulled a handkerchief from somewhere inside her dress and wiped her eyes

Harry turned to Keiichi, "Do you, Keiichi Morisato, take Belldandy Odinsdottir to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, for as long as you both shall live?"

"Yes." Keiichi said, smiling widely

Smiling just as brightly, Harry turned to Belldandy, "Do you, Belldandy Odinsdottir, take Keiichi Morisato to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, for as long as you both shall live?"

"Yes!" she said, almost interrupting him in her eagerness

"Alright, now the ring please?" Harry asked Keiichi.

Keiichi pulled an elegant, restrained wedding ring from out of his jacket pocket

"That's very nice, Keiichi," Harry said gently, "Now, please place the ring on her finger. If you have any vows you'd like to make, please do."

Keiichi smiled. "We've already made those vows before," he said, as he slipped the ring onto Belldandy's finger

Harry clapped his hands before spreading his arms wide, "By the power vested in me by the People and State of New York, I pronounce you man and wife! You may kiss the bride!"

Belldandy embraced Keiichi and bent him back in a strong kiss

Roz smiled as she clapped her hands, "Go get 'em, girl!"

Urd whooped and cheered loudly.

The rest of the Night Court staff, minus the unconscious Mr. Fielding, joined in the cheer.


	12. More Azumanga and some Excel Saga, too!

Dis-claim-er - Neither I nor any of the other authors hold any rights or privileges to the characters used in this story. Copyright is given to the creators/holders where applicable. Only thing I (might) have any hold on is the idea to create this, and it's probably a jointly held idea anyway.

* * *

"Next case."

"Speeding."

"How bad?"

"Three times the speed limit, ignoring red lights... cars parked... cars next to hers... Her mirrors all banged up..."

"...Seriously?"

"I had an aunt that drove like that." Bull commented. "Of course, she was blind."

"...How does a blind woman drive?"

"Normally very carefully."

Meanwhile, back in Deadpool's apartment, Blind Al sneezed, narrowly avoiding today's deadly trap.

Harry sighed. "Miss Yukari, do you have anything to say in your defense?"

"Uhm..." She nervously reaches back and pulls forward Chiyo-chan, "C'mon, Chiyo-chan, that wasn't that bad, was it?"

The girl stared, wide-eyed, shaking horribly. "Car go zoom... Things go boom... Pink and white explosions on the windshield."

"In my defense, I didn't know that there was a flying magical girl right there. She's alright though, at least..."

"Miss Yukari, not only did you break speeding laws, you have a hit and run?"

Chiyo-chan started muttering, "Miss Yukari...watch out for the man in red pajamas...Miss Yukari...that big black mecha won't fill that chasm back in..."

"Red pajamas?"

"Some blind guy..."

"So... You hit a flying magical girl and a blind guy..."

"I still don't feel good..." Said magical girl groaned in the audience.

"At least your legs aren't broken." Said blind guy muttered to her.

"Iwouldlovetorace thiswomaninarace justtoseehowfastsheis, Haha!"

"Noson! Suchawomanwould beverydangerousforyou. Haha!"

"Butfather, ifIdonotracethiswoman, Iwillneverfindout howgoodIcanbe, haha!"

"So, Miss Yukari, I'm going to fine you..."

"I don't make enough to pay any fines!"

"...500 hours community service and the personal maid for the people you injured."

"Car go zoom, Xelloss go splat..." Chiyo muttered, rocking back and forth slowly.

"Next case..."

"We have People v.... Excel Excel and Hyatt."

"Excel... Excel?"

"That's her name. Apparently her parents weren't too imaginative."

"HAIL LORD ILPALAZZO!" An orange haired girl saluted as she yelled as loudly as she could. "Oh wait, you aren't supposed to know about Lord Ilpalazzo, I'm going to have to kill you all right now. But the guards took away any guns I might have had and killing you all would just be a big hassle and finding a place to hide the bodies would be a pain, so just forget I said anything, okay?"

Crickets chirped in the background after every tried to decipher just what was said.

"Vegeta, my head hurts."

"For once, I can't blame your stupidity."

"Uhh... Right... What's the... Holy! Is she okay?" Harry's eyes widened as Hyatt coughed up blood and fell over.

"Huh? Ha-chan died again." Excel muttered, slumping. "She always does this when she feels too much pressure, it's like someone turned the blood gauge up to maximum and forgot to Mmmmph?!" Her eyes widened as both Dan and Christine put their hands over her mouth.

"She... Does that often?" Harry looked at Mac, who shrugged in response.

"Apparently she died three times when getting a report from her."

"Three times?"

"Wow, death's even cheaper for her than it is for you guys." Deadpool pointed at Vegeta, who snorted.

"It's the Deus Ex Machina thing with the Dragonballs, really. And bad writing in the translations...and least Kakarot doesn't have the same voice for thirty years in other countries." Vegeta muttered.

"Stop breaking the 4th wall!" Harry banged his gavel. Honestly, it was like he was in a bad fanfic or something.

"Dood, he pointed out us breaking the 4th wall, dood."

"Yeah, dood!"

"Wark!"

"So, what's the charge anyway?"

"Dining and Dashing, causing a traffic jam, triple parking, flipping off police officers."

Harry blinked. "Triple Parking? How does THAT work?"

"She parked a tank on top of two cars."

"...Eh?"

"I thought this was Vice City!"

A man in Spartan armor stood up in the back, "NO! THIS...IS...NEW YORK CITY!" and kicks a spindly looking robot out the window.

Kenpachi looked at him, snorted and kicked him through the wall next to the window.

"There was a hole in the wall next to it. Why did you need to make a new one?"

"Eh..." Kenpachi shrugged. "The first hole was boring."

Out in the street, there were several crashes, and a hollered "FRENZY!" as several metal disks flew through the broken window.

Harry groaned and looked at Excel. "Any words in your defense?"

"The cars were of an ugly color and they had illegal drugs inside and Lord Ilpalazzo says that such things are horrible and need to be taken care of and that the world is corrupted and that we can purify it and *stomach growl* I'm so hungry!"

Bull, being the kind man he is, hands Excel his lunchbox.

"OOOH! Thank you!" She grabbed it and started eating fast, tears falling from her eyes as she gorged on food. "Thf if gud!"

Bull smiled, "Thanks! I'm learning how to make Indian food. Unfortunately, they don't give good guidelines on how spicy it should be..."

Harry rubbed his head. "Miss Excel, it seems that you're a very... VERY energetic girl and that you seem to be following someone... For whatever reason you want to... Nevertheless, breaking the law is not exactly forgivable. So, I'm going to make you go through 300 hours of community service."

"HEY! I sped a little and she parks a tank on cars, and I get more time than she does?!"

"...Yes."

"Arrrgh! Life is so unfair!"

"No kidding..." Xelloss, Nanoha and Daredevil muttered as they sat, all sporting various injuries from being hit by Yukari's driving.


	13. Munsters vs Addams

Dis-claim-er - Neither I nor any of the other authors hold any rights or privileges to the characters used in this story. Copyright is given to the creators/holders where applicable. Only thing I (might) have any hold on is the idea to create this, and it's probably a jointly held idea anyway.

* * *

"Harry!"

"Dan?" The judge blinked. "What's wrong?"

"There's a beat-down going on outside!"

Blinking, Harry got up and ran out, following Dan. "Where are Roz, Bull or Mac?"

"Keeping people from getting pulled into the fray!"

"What the heck?" Harry's eyes widened as he saw the large dust cloud at the bottom of the steps, near the top was Fate Testarossa looking shell-shocked and that girl that blew her up holding her. "What's going on?"

"...Mother..." Fate muttered out softly.

"Fate-chan... Her mother came up and tried to take her home, but then Arf-san got upset saying that Fate-chan shouldn't go home and get whipped and then everyone else got upset and jumped her and started beating her up."

Harry twitched, well, at least this made some sense. "Anyone got a gun?"

"We tried that." Roz muttered as she walked up to Harry. "We even tried tazers, it just let others in."

"HEY! LEMME AT HER!"  
"NO! ME!"  
"SAVE SOME FOR ME!"  
"YOU GIVE ALL MOTHERS A BAD NAME!"

Harry groaned and looked around. "Can anyone get them to stop?"

"I don't think so." Mac muttered. "I think Kenpachi got hit with lightning and all he did was grin."

"Wait, why does he care?"

"Kenny doesn't, he just wanted to get in on the fun." Yachiru spoke up from underneath Harry, causing the judge to jump.

"And you aren't in there, why?"

"Hard to get in there when there's fifty people beating on the stupid lady."

Harry rubbed his forehead. He was actually torn. On one hand, he should have every single person down there arrested for brutality, assault and battery, possibly murder if this kept up. But, on the other hand... Well, he didn't condone child abuse, at all. "Can anyone get them to stop?"

"Here! Let me!" Harry, Roz, Mac and Yachiru blinked as they saw...

"Squirrel Girl?"

The super hero smirked at them. "Just leave it to me. Okay boys! Let's go!"

What happened next left even Yachiru green in the face.

"I will never be able to look at squirrels the same way again." Harry muttered, at least the beat-down had stopped, though everyone in question was now beaten down.

"Look at the bright side." Roz muttered, her face still slightly green.

"What?"

"Your next court case will be a lot easier without the peanut gallery."

OMAKE!

"Hey, Vegeta!"

"What?"

"Squirrel girl made EVERYONE..."

"SHUT UP, NAPPA!"

"Her biiiiitch."

The pile of beaten and bloody bodies groaned in dismay. Why couldn't that ghost EVER shut up?

* * *

"Next case."

"Um... Munsters vs. Addams..."

"What's the problem?"

"The plants are eating each other."

"..."

"Uncle Herman... Is that a cousin of yours?"

"Why it's my playmate from when I was a child! How are you, Lurch?"

"UrrrrRRrrrRrrrr..."

"Ah, good to hear!"

"So, Mr. Munster, what brings you to our wonderful courtroom?" asked Harry

"Ah, well..." Herman began and stepped forward. "It seems my new neighbors, wonderful people that they are, planted some of their plants a little too close to ours and both plants started fighting and eating each other."

"This happen very often?"

"Only for the last couple of weeks. Grandpa..."

"Hi!" An older vampiric person spoke up.

"Yes, he's been working on a variety of plant that can survive being eaten, but it hasn't worked out so far."

Dan shuddered a bit as he passed the details to Harry, "Yes, apparently the plants are crossbreed Kudzu and Venus Fly Trap for the Munsters and a Kudzu and African Creeper Vine for the Addams."

"Well, what can I say, Cleopatra's family," Mr. Addams spoke up, "Why, my darling wife was devastated when she found her that morning..."

I have to say one thing, Bull..."

"What's that, Roz?"

"It must be interesting, having to actually look UP at someone."

Bull nodded emphatically.

"I see... and you both have been planting new plants there?"

"Yes, your honor." Morticia spoke up and glided forward. "It's the best place for all of our plants; unfortunately, they just don't like each other."

"Which is so wrong. Wednesday and Pugsly are great to play with!" A werewolf boy spoke up from the stands.

"Eddie, sit down, please." Lily waved him down.

"I see... So, really, you two don't have a problem with each other, you just want to try something with the plants..."

"Well, your honor, we did find a new place for them but..." Herman looked at Gomez.

"The problem is, it's not on either of our properties."

"Where is this property?" asked Harry

"Mets Stadium."

"Wasn't that destroyed a bit ago?" Mac blinked.

"Yes!" bellowed a small white mouse

"We would have bought it, but the owners wouldn't sell and then when it got destroyed..." Morticia pouted. "The city declared such a wonderful mess a disaster area, such a waste."

Harry looked just a little put off, "Uh-huh..."

"Really, I don't see why they wouldn't sell it to such nice people." Herman muttered.

"So, you two really had no problem with each other..."

"Well, besides the fact that we both lost our plants, no."

"And you just wanted an injunction to get some plants put into the Mets' stadium?"

"Now that it's flattened, yes."

Harry grinned, "So ordered. Have fun!"

"Oh goodie!"

"Hey, you know something, Herman?"

"What's that, Gomez?"

"I think there's enough room if one of us buries our plants in the outfield and the other one takes the infield..."

"You're probably right..."

"I've seen weirder friendships start over weirder things..." Harry muttered. "Let's take five everyone."


	14. Welcome to the Pigtailed Time Loops

Dis-claim-er - Neither I nor any of the other authors hold any rights or privileges to the characters used in this story. Copyright is given to the creators/holders where applicable. Only thing I (might) have any hold on is the idea to create this, and it's probably a jointly held idea anyway.

* * *

"Alright! I want everyone here to rise for Judge Stone as he's presiding over this case," Nappa shouted enthusiastically.

Harry grinned weakly, "Thank you, Nappa."

"Yaaaaaay!"

"So, this is what jury duty's like," Ranma asked rhetorically, looking to his fellow anchors.

"Yeahsureyoubetcha it is," Jack O'Neill sighed.

"Where's the lawyers?" Harry asked, looking around, but not seeing them.

"Sorry I'm late, your honor!" Brianna called out as she crashed through the door... Literally. "Ooops." She big-sweated, the janitor was going to HATE to clean that mess up.

"Huh, so that's what it looks like when I do that," The Kool-Aid Man said as he watched her entrance from the gallery.

"Alright! Kool-aid!" The other lawyer said as he grinned behind his mask. "I don't get to drink this stuff often enough!"

Harry sweat-dropped heavily, "Mr. Deadpool! Please stop trying to molest the Kool-Aid Man!

Yoruichi pouted, "At least someone's getting some attention around here..."

"KITTY!" Nappa suddenly cried out, pouncing on the unsuspecting Yoruichi. "I'm going to pet you, and hug you and..." He continued as he petted Yoruichi's back...quite painfully.

Nanoha, in the jury box, winced at that. "Oww..."

"Nappa, stop that right now."

"Aww..." The big Saiyan pouted and put Yoruichi down.

"Medic..." The Goddess of Flash whimpered softly.

"Now, Mac, first case!"

Mr. Popo appeared out of nothing, leaning full into Harry's face.

"Hiiiiii. This case is Midoriya Cafe v/s Goku the Bottomless. The charge is running out on the bill. Byyyyye."

Laughing maniacally, Mr. Popo stepped over to his desk and sat with his implacable stare facing the crowd.

"...For some reason, I feel like we should all be freaking out right now." Ranma muttered.

"If you saw the Abridged Series, you would be!" Deadpool commented from under the table with his katana drawn... Not that it would do much.

Goku obligingly walked up in front of the bench.

"Now Goku, can you explain why you ran out on this bill for...$30,000...?"

Goku frowned a bit, tilting his head down before looking up, "If I say I'm really sorry, will you let me go?"

"Even if this is a fake world, being sorry doesn't cut it, I mean, think of all the work they had to put into making that food and then serving you and then the problem of the dishes... have you EVER had to do that many dishes?! Do you know the PAY they get?!"

"Mr. Deadpool, please stick to the facts. We're all well aware that service industry workers get what's scraped off the sides of a rusted barrel for pay," Judge Stone admonished.

"In my client's defense, he really doesn't have a steady source of income and the sign did say "all you can eat". Plus he suffered brain damage as a baby." Brianna said calmly, though she really didn't think this was helping the case any.

"So...diminished capacity then?"

"More-or-less." Brianna said with a long-suffering sigh. "I'm pretty sure that my client would be more than happy to help out to pay back what he owes..."

Ranma snorted quietly, as if that ever helped anyone before.

"I'm sure Mom and Dad would be happy to have hel...wait, this is Goku, and not just any Goku but Abridged Goku, isn't it?" Nanoha deadpanned

The entire courtroom nodded as Mr. Popo laughed his maniacal laugh.

Brianna threw her hands up into the air. "Forget it then."

Ranma nodded. "Trust me, anyone from any Abridged universe are generally apathetic, moronic and just plain mean."

"Why thank you, Mr. Saotome," Mr. Popo said from behind Ranma's right shoulder.

Ranma stiffened and nodded. "No problem... How about you go find some kittens to give to Nappa?"

"No, I think Shihōin has this one in hand," Mr. Popo said.

"Mr. Pop-I mean, Mac, no contaminating the jury. Now, Mr. Goku, I think a few thousand hours of community service and reparations to the Takamichi family are pretty good, don't you think?"

"Byyyyyyeeeee..." Mr. Popo said as he faded out and returned to his seat near the bench.

"Y...Yes!" Goku nodded and looked VERY nervously at Mr. Popo.

"Hiiii."

"...OOOH! KITTY!"

"Not again!" Yoruichi groaned as Nappa suddenly glomped her again.

"Good! Next case!"

After Yoruichi slipped out of Nappa's sleeper hold and lead Goku away, Mr. Popo stepped up again.

"Listen up maggots, this one's Nanako Kuroi v/s Ren Maaka, and he's been very baaaad."

"Yes! I get the hottie this time! Screw you Marvel!"

"Your honor, can we throw out the fat one?" Brianna frowned at Popo. "He's poisoning the jury against my client!"

"Bitch, I think you need to adjust your attitude..." Mr. Popo said ominously, his hands perfectly still as he pointed at her and made her disappear for a few minutes.

With a flash, she's returned, a wide-eyed stare on her face as she trembles occasionally.

"Aww, Vegeta, I think he broke her..."

"Yes, Nappa, the scary jerk broke her." Vegeta muttered.

"Told you it wasn't worth it," Deadpool snarked at Brianna.

She nods rapidly, a small whimper in the back of her throat as she groans, "So...many...tentacles..."

Ranma scratched his head. Honestly, he thought Brianna would LIKE the tentacles...

"Order in the court!" Harry bellowed, "Now, Miss Diggers, you will leave the discipline of my court officers to myself and I'll do my best to get you some therapy."

"Y...yes, your honor."

Harry cleared his throat. "Okay, now then... Mr. Popo, please stop influencing the court anymore. We're to be completely neutral to everything. As for this next case... Bring them in."

Ren sullenly walked to stand in front of the bench, Brianna to his left. Nanako took her place at his right, her grin leaving a fang hanging over her lower lip as Deadpool stood to her right.

"Go Teach!" Konata Izumi hollered from the gallery, "Show that sparkly vampire wanna-be some justice!"

"Vegeta, look, he's sparkly...does that mean he's an emo too?"

"He's not sparkly, Nappa, that's just special effects from the peanut gallery."

"Aww! But I wanted a sparkly vampire!"

Stephanie Meyer squeaked and sneaked out of the courtroom as fast as her legs could carry her.

"See?" Vegeta smirked at Nappa.

Ren grimaced. "At least this isn't a day court."

"Aww, no suntan for you, then," Nanako said viciously/

"Preach it, sister!" Xander Harris called out.

"What are the charges?" Harry asked, rubbing his head. "And where's my Excedrin?"

"Right here, your honor," Setsuna Meioh said calmly and handed him some headache medicine.

"Uh...thank you, Miss Meioh. I take it you're here because Usagi didn't get into this loop?" Harry asked warily.

"I gave her a pizza and told her to wait in the car." Setsuna smirked softly.

"Why didn't WE think of that?!" The jury said at the same time.

"'Cause you're all a bunch of maggots?" Mr. Popo asked brightly

"Alright, enough!" Harry banged his gavel. "Mr. Popo, please stop that. Jury, quiet. Ms. Meioh, thank you. Now, let's get this case underway."

"Well, your Honor, Miss Kuroi was walking home, minding her own business, when all of a sudden Mr. Maaka here decided it'd be a good idea to grab a bite to eat and maybe a quickie while he waits," Deadpool said, paying no attention to his notes.

"Your honor, my client is a Vampire and thus only is able to feed by biting someone and sucking their blood. Moreover, never once has my client ever seriously harmed someone. In fact, people who have been bitten by my client or his family tend to be very relaxed and happy afterwards."

"Unless granny bites them."

"Unless his grandmother bites them," Brianna nodded.

"So, he's a corpse that needs to be dusted for the good of all? Where's that Vampire Layer when you need her..." Deadpool muttered.

"Hey! That's Vampire Slayer!" Someone called from the gallery.

"I call it like I see it, Miss 'I unsouled my vampire boyfriend by giving him a minute of whoopee!'"

"Actually, your honor..." Brianna spoke up before a fight could erupt. "He and his family have a unique ability to "suck out" negative emotions that plague people. In addition, the people that his family has sucked on have gone on to be very relaxed, productive members of society."

Harry gave her a long look before turning to Ren, "So how does a career in Law Enforcement sound?"

"As long as I only deal with female prisoners, I think we could do something about that..."

"HEY! What about me!?!" Nanako bellowed, "I'm the injured party here!"

Mr. Popo held his hand up in front of her face, "Shh, the big boys are talking here..."

"Your honor, I'd protest, but I can't fill out a skirt the same way that Brianna can." Deadpool nodded. "At least she's not trying that Peebo trick again."

"HOW'D YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT!?!?!" Brianna shrieked, hoping to God that this nut job wasn't stalking her.

Deadpool held up the issue of Gold Digger that had Brianna acting like Phoenix Wright. "You really shouldn't rip off video games so blatantly."

"Though if you want to be a model, I've got a contract right here..." Mr. Popo said, a copy of the latest Gold Diggers Swimsuit issue in his hands.

Brianna sweat-dropped, "Eh... Maybe later..."

"Mr. Popo, please refrain from showing that around the children."

Vivio looked up from reading the Gold Digger comics and shrugged. "It's funny!"

Deadpool smirked under his mask. "I gave the girl the Gold Bricks, she's enjoying them."

Harry sighed. "Next case!"

Setsuna handed Harry the case. "One Jail Scaglietti vs. ten."

"Hot damn, I get the sexy cyborgs!" Deadpool smirked happily.

Jail grumbled, why was he here again?

"Well, Mr. Scaglietti, let's see you have been charged with... Wow... Lots of sexual crimes here... Incest, sex with an underage woman, impregnating your opposite sex clones... Trying to take over the world, torture, terrorism, and acting like a jerk to someone who's almost like your daughter..."

"Hi, dad!" Otto grinned at Ranma. "Fun loop, huh?"

Ranma groaned, he didn't expect this... "Wait, where's Quattro?"

"Running from Ren," Uno shrugged.

"See, your honor? He really does try to make people into productive members of society." Brianna nodded.

"Anyway... Brianna, your rebuttal?"

"To be fair, my client never really HAD sex with any of these girls..." Brianna looked at Sette, who was standing there, looking like a hippie. "...Even if they look like they might be easy."

"Objection!" Deadpool shouted. "Just because some of them look like hippies and punks and other unmentionable members of society doesn't make them 'easy'."

"And the doctor did have sex with Quattro, who's his daughter." Wendi cheerfully chirped in.

"I wonder if those bug people had this problem, Vegeta..."

"I wouldn't know, Nappa. We ONLY saw the king and queen mate."

"Ah, that was fun, wasn't it, Vegeta. I think I still have the pictures on my phone." Here, Nappa pulls out his cell and holds it up in Yoruichi's face, "See? Isn't that interesting?"

"GODDAMMIT, NAPPA!"

Brianna cleared her throat. "Even so, your honor, my client..."

"Only tried to have me carry his clone-baby!" The Numbers in the room piped up at the same time.

Here, Ranma looked at the rest of the anchors, "See, this is why I'm glad we can't breed. Amirite?"

Brianna cleared her throat. "Anyway, your honor, my client didn't do any of those things, except for Quattro, but she wanted it apparently."

*ACHOO!* Ranma looked at the small bit of green slime on his hand. "This is a symptom of Encroaching Doom Syndrome...why do I not want to know..."

"Because, maggot, you might have a hand in this..." Mr. Popo intoned ominously.

"Mr. Popo, please refrain from antagonizing the jurors, please," Harry pleaded, knowing this would only be a temporary fix.

"Your honor, my clients just want to live their lives and learn like any other looper, but the defendant wants them to commit horrible crimes against humanity."

Suddenly Cinque and Dieci turned around and gave him a flat look.

"Look, just because I'm a lot like that doesn't mean anything." Deadpool sniffed derisively.

"I'd hate for him and the Peacekeepers to trade tactics..." John Crichton shuddered

"Oh them? Nice people, just make sure that you kill them when you're done making deals, it might come back to haunt you later." Deadpool nodded.

"Are you confessing to a crime, Deadpool?" Brianna asked with a raised eyebrow.

"If I am, may lightning strike Jail."

*Cr-KA-BOOM!*

Everyone blinked as Jail was shocked and sent flying from where he stood.

Fate smiled nervously. "Couldn't help myself."

"That's my Fate-chan," Nanoha said smugly.

Harry sighed and looked at the jury. "He's pretty much guilty, huh?"

Nanoha and Ranma simply nodded their heads while Han and Anakin were busy tinkering with an E-Web Blaster Emplacement.

"Anakin, this modification is going to burn out the power core in one shot," Han said, "Won't we need more than one shot?"

"Han, you may be a talented smuggler, but my 'hokey' religion ought to help me with my shot."

"Guys, c'mon, let's let Judge Stone decide whether we're gonna take him out now, or if I need to make a couple calls," Colonel O'Neill said with a sigh as he pulled them away from the mostly completed blaster.

Harry looked at Jail. "Do you have anything to say in your defense?"

"Yeah, I'm rather upset that they're acting so upset with what I did." Jail glared at the assembled Numbers.

Brianna was taken aback by this. "Uhm, what?"

"What? You honestly thought that I'm sorry about it?" Jail shrugged. "I'm not."

"Can I take care of him?" Ranma spoke up, grinning in such a way that even Popo noticed, and nodded approvingly.

"YAY! Violence makes everything better, doesn't it Vegeta?"

"Yes, Nappa, yes it does."

Yoruichi had a toothy smirk on her face, her hands flexing as she cracked her knuckles. "Finally, something Baldy and I over here agree on..."

"Mr. Scaglietti," Brianna said, "I quote my father when I say this. Violence is not the answer. It's the question. The answer is YES!"

Deadpool smirked and held up the issue of Gold Digger in question. "Yes, yes he did." He pulled out a katana, handed it to Cinque, and then pulled out a gun and handed it to Nove, and then a bigger gun and handed it to Dieci and then a BIGGER gun and tossed it to Brianna.

"...Take it outside people." Harry said, shaking his head. "And try not to break any buildings."

"Yeah, do you know how long it takes to get the pieces I need to make the maintenance work around this joint?" asked Art, "I swear, if that paintbrush headed muscleman tears up another bathroom, I'll..."

"Don't worry, maggot." Popo spoke up to Jail, who was sweating nervously. "At least I won't be here...yet."

"Heh, Vegeta, Jail's gonna be Mr. Popo's..."

"Go ahead, Nappa."

"Biiiiitch."

"Good job, Nappa."

"YAAAY!"

Harry just sighed, put his face down on the bench for a few seconds before looking back up at the crowd, "Well, what are you waiting for? I've only got a novelty squeaky mallet. I leave Mr. Scaglietti in the hands of his peers. Court is adjourned."

Jail gulped as everyone cheered at the same time and dragged him out of the courthouse.

"This isn't going to end well for him."

Setsuna smirked at Harry. "I don't even need to look at the Time Gates to know that."

"Well, since I never know when my loop ends, how about we go grab a bite, huh?" asked Harry, "There's a hot dog vendor outside the courthouse, we can talk and watch the festivities at the same time. That sound like fun?"

She smiled and nodded. "Sure thing."

As they walked out of the courtroom, the eerie voice of Mr. Popo could be heard with a final "Byyyyyyeeee..."


End file.
